zhinesade's surreal world

everything about nothing

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Transitioning

Is it an IT term exclusively? Hopefully, not.

Certain events in the recent past have put my mind in a whirlwind. What matters most? What can I give up? What can't I? What do I really have? What is really my choice?

I'll try to make this update as painless as possible. And as unemotional. I find it helps, in these unsturdy times...Also, I find that my logical brain deals with chaos more efficiently than my emotional side. Think that's better, do you? Let me know. I have a handful to say about it. Anyway, try and hold your breath while you read. it'll make you react less.

1. Bad - nephew got confined at Med City 2 weeks ago.
2. Good - got AVP gigs started. Hopefully, the bookings continue, and we progress.
3. Really Really Bad - dad got in a car accident. And freaking idiotic people around making excuses.
4. Really Really Good - I won $500 in a photography contest. Grand winner.
5. Potentially Bad - payments for house sh*t coming round
6. Potentially Good - laptop hopefully coming back to me all fixed up before end of October.
7. Bad for me, good for them - Poch left yesterday
8. Good for me, bad for them - ate lunch at Kitchen, alone, first time. Occupied a table for 6 (twas yummy tho. Oh Pate!)
9. Bad - no sleep because of most of the above
10. Good - done good at work. Been commended. Always a nice thing.

And here's something that'll hopefully cheer me up, after this caterpillar-y entry haha...

I think his name is Kewell... (Roanne, correct me if I misspelled your friend's baby's name haha).

Innocence always makes me sigh.

Finally, just to make you think (and so I'm not the only one lying in bed thinking about this tonight), why are the quiet types the more aggressive ones? Really. Seriously. Think about it.

(Ooh, and on the side...why do some "really cute, totally availabe guys" turn out either to be gay, have an abuse problem, or have a overside beer belly?

Life.

yes, I will be fine.

Monday, October 02, 2006

the end(?)

the world is moving too fast
and the ant
being swallowed whole
with the frozen doughnut
elicits nothing
but
apathy.

(really?)

keeping my fingers crossed,
clutching my breast,
humming myself to sleep

(turning a deaf ear)

if only it were as easy
(to switch you off)

if only it were as easy
to
really
be
(me)
.