Plausible Deniability

Ever wondered why your boyfriend seems soooooooo dense, you just want to grab him by the hair (if he happens to have any on his head), and jam his head in between your door and wall until he realizes what your ahem-ahem words are about?

And, why, when you talk to all your other guy friends, they seem to always say 'Yes, that's what I thought you meant', and they're always right. How come they get it and he doesn't?

'You look great tonight,' he says.
'Thanks. I had a hard time finding something to wear. All I have is old stuff. I need to go shopping,' you reply in your sweetest voice.
Boyfriend mumbles 'Mm-hmm' as he kisses you full on the lips. And you think you're in agreement.
Two weeks later, you're still waiting for that hint from him that he remembers you saying you wanted to go shopping with him. He doesn't say a word. But he does wanna hang out tonight at your place. And so you say,' How about you come shopping with me?', with your cutest smile on. And then his face goes totally blank, as if you just said aliens were in town, and then he goes 'Shopping? But you don't NEED any new clothes...' 'But you said we could go,' you reply, slowly feeling really let down now. 'I did? We never discussed this before,' he innocently replies. You remind him of two weeks before and he says he does not remember you ever asking him to go shopping with you. And your face gets the beginnings of a full-on pout. But you drop the subject for now to avoid confrontation. A couple more days later, with no mention of it, you start the underhanded arguments, and then, finally, a full-on battle on why he should or should not accompany you in your shopping.

But he already said yes...you think to yourself, wallowing in self-pity and anger building inside you.

Plausible deniability, baby. Times like these, men just tune out or pretend to tune out or throw out some noncommitant reply just to get their women to stop yapping. And most women fall for it.

Stop falling for it.

If you want something, tell him directly. It's not that men are dense. It's not that women speak like aliens when they have requests. It's mostly because men can get away with it.

Hmmm. Okay, okay, women sometimes can too.

But, THE POINT IS, if you can't take shit, don't give shit. Remember that. Your relationship is only as good as your word to each other. If you can't talk with your partner about things you need, want, like, dislike, hate without getting a straight answer for him (and vice versa), then maybe you have to go bark up another tree. Coz this guy ain't biting on what you've got to say, babe. And being treated like a bimbo (no matter how smart or popular or rich or cool or handsome your boyfriend is) is no way of earning your respect, or your love for that matter.

Shove it!