Backpocketing

Got this new term from a guy I had a conversation with yesterday. It turns out that there is another reason why men want to 'still be friends' even when you cross the friends only-hookup boundary. It's called backpocketing.

So, say you're in the M.U.-like stage with a guy. You know he likes you (i.e. you've kissed, or probably made out a couple of times), he knows you like him back, but you have not had the talk. And then, through the course of some days, you suddenly find that it has been very hard to connect to him (on whatever level).

And so you have a sort of 'talk'. And you throw the word 'friends' out there just so he won't think you're overly interested. and then, he hugs you, and throws it back at you. So you think:
a) he held me while he said that so that means he wants us to be more than that.
b) he held me while he said that so that means he respects my decision but he definitely wants to be more than that.
c) he held me while he said that to lessen the pain for the both of us, because this is what is best at this time.

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He said that because he wants you in his backpocket, i.e. he knows you like him back, but he does not like you back enough to continue down that road just yet. However, he wants to keep the line open so that when he does feel like he's 'ready' or he 'wants' you or he 'needs' you, there is still that possibility that you will still be open to him.
Get it? He wants you on a string labelled 'i'm not sure where we are, but we'll find out someday'.

And the typical idiotic cheesy girl that you are, you believe the best. You convince yourself that maybe you're not ready for a real relationship too. That this is the best choice. That he likes you deep down, but it is just not the right time now.

So you lose contact with this guy, just keeping minimum contact through 'how are you's' and forwarded emails. And then, one night, you go to a party, and he's there. And you meet him. And the two of you start talking, and it seems like this happened before. 'De ja vu', you think. Feels like heaven....Mmmm-hmmmm.... You start kissing and all that...

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have been backpocketted.

Wait a few days, and you'll see. Everything will go back to normal. Except that it's his normal. Not your normal. He'll slowly slip into oblivion again, and you'll be wracked with the same exact thoughts that you had the first time you made out with him. And maybe will go through another one of those conversations with him. Do me a favor and record it, will you? So that the next time this happens, you can just listen to the tape, instead of feeling really embarrassed to have asked him again and gotten the same old answer and feeling overly used.

Some girls should just grow up and smell those awful dried sampagitas.

Get my drift?