Taken for granted...

Have you ever felt that someone you actually thought was close to you suddenly took you for granted or changed in such a way that they seem distant?
A friend perhaps, or a significant other.
Well, it doesn't really matter. But the phenomenon begs to be discussed. Or at least recognized.

People seem to think that being taken for granted happens after someone gets really close to you and sees your personality under a microscope, instead of under a picture frame. They see all the flaws, and forget the whole picture of the you they had first gotten to know, adore, and/or love.

It sucks. I, among many, should know. I have been on both the giving and receiving end of this horrible travesty.

The question remains, though. How do we get over it?

Does spending time apart give you the space to see them in the macronucleus of things? Or do the flaws remain, and Daddy Distance's only work is to make sure the taker gets away from the flaws as fast as possible.

Or is it just a matter of nature taking its course? Average people (and i do mean average, as in typical --- single, around my age, independent) do not want to be tied up in too much drama for fear that they just might find themselves helpless without the other one day. Okay, maybe not helpless. But unconditionally loving the other.

What's so wrong about that, you may ask. Come on! Think about it. It's not by some universal force that we grow a realtionship with the taken. There's effort involved. And after all this effort, you see all these flaws that could hurt you, would you still accommodate the taken? Or say, 'Hey, it's been nice, but i gotta get somewhere safe.'

In this case, 'safe' is being in an emotional state that the taker can handle. Something that cannot hurt them at will. Which is something takens can do to takers if taker don't take the takens for granted. You getting this?

Let me give you an example. Person A learns to swim when she's 12. She loves swimming, the thinks. Swimming takes up most of her time now. But she's not good enough with swimming to win any medals, or get any elevated recognition, much less get a scholarship at a university. And her grades aren't too high, because her priority was swimming. And then, one day, she meets a lady who also used to love swimming, but quit, because there was no career in it for her. And her sister died of drowning, and swimming did her no good in saving the sister. So she lost hope. And Person A thinks, 'Is swimming all I want? Is it going to complete me?' Is it everything that is important to me?' And one day, after much thought, but not much options, she suddenly just drops swimming and goes on with her life, trying to erase the whole memory of swimming. And she lives. And she's still normal and happy and content. Complete? Well, I don't know about that. But she lived.

Get it? Hmm. Not quite, huh? How about if you replace the word 'swimming' in that previous paragraph with 'person b'. Do you get it now? It's a risk. And either way, you'll probably end up fine. And taking someone for granted is really not a sin. It's just a choice. But always a choice that should make us stop and think. Is it worth it? Will it make me happy? Make me complete? Make me a better person? Am I taking away from myself if I leave this other person behind?

Me? Preaching? I'm not preaching. I have taken so many people for granted, I'm pretty sure I'd be amillionaire if I could take them all back. But the past is a shade, the present is a nucleus, and the future is a cloud.

I should be so lucky to stop and think every time I start doing this. God knows I've done it more than I have cared to.