Cooling Off

Filipinos my age call it "cool off", as in "Nag-cool off kami".
Americans my age call it "a break", as in "We’re on a break".

There must be tons of stuff written about this. I dare not even google it. But I’m here to offer you my singkong-duling (naks, coining poch’s words…that is ‘my 2 cents’ worth’ for A~Lotus and other english-speaking readers’ benefit :P ) about it.

First up, NO, I have never asked for a cooling off period. How I did that with my Type A and volatile personality, I will never know. But I did it, or rather, I didn’t (at least, not that I can remember). NO cool-offs aka breaks (never mind whether or not that was a good idea hehe...that’s discussion for another time). I always said, either we fix this, or let’s just break up. There’s no point in letting go of the commitment for say two weeks, and then re-evaluating "US". I never did get the logic in that. Time to think about things, I understand (say "introspect" with me here). But a cool-off? Nah.

Love me or let me go. And vice versa.

But I digress.

So, because it seems like these months bring the "cool-off" season for friends and acquaintances alike, here I am, thinking about the WHY’s of it all. No holds barred. Especially since I am not involved, ergo, have nothing to hide, on the topic.

Say girl wants to take a break with boy and she let’s loose the dreaded CO (cool-off) remark. What are we to think? Given we don’t know anything, let’s try to ram straight into the juicy parts of girl’s head.
Basic reasons:
1. I’m bored with this guy.
2. There’s this other guy I like
3. There’s this other guy who’s told me he likes me
4. I need to test and see if he’s really not willing to let me go
5. I want to try going out with someone different
6. I can’t see my future with this guy
7. This guy seems to be taking me for granted
8. We have so many points of contention

But it’s not that easy. There could be a couple of simple variations:
Combine basic reasons 5 and 7
Combine basic reasons 2, 3, and 6
Combine any basic reason with the phrase ‘but I still love him’
Any other permutation of basic reasons

It could be made more complicated by specific reasons to stay. Stir with variations above for effective results:
1. We don’t go out as much as we used (or variations of this, i.e. he doesn’t text me the way he used to)
2. I might regret it in the end, because maybe, this is just a phase I need to go through
3. He cares for me like no other person does
4. He’s handsome/cute (and that scores points, no matter what they say)

Pepper with specific reasons to go:
1. We don’t go out as much as we used (or variations of this thought, like he doesn’t text me the way he used to)
2. I don’t want to be labeled a cheater
3. He’s not trying hard enough for our future (social, emotional, financial)

So they try to find something in between working it out and breaking it off.

Cooling off. Taking a break. A breather. Stopping in that marathon of love, and letting the future get away from you…for the present.
Any other reasons you can think of? Or objections? Let me know. We need to help those who were left during the cool-off.

This is for them.

A little tangible piece one can almost grasp, amidst the turmoil of being left alone.