Elevator Talk

The elevator scenario comes up at least once a day, when you get into the elevator with filipino coworkers and americans.

Elevator Talk 1
Say we’re in an elevator. 3 pinoys and 2 americans. And we want to talk about a coworker who was cute.
Pinoy 1: huy, kilala mo ba yung taga-5th floor na lalake na laging kasama ni Pipay(another filipina)
Pinoy 2: ah, yung nakita nating kasama nya maglunch kahapon sa caf?
Pinoy 3: oo, yung cute….baket? anong chika?
Pinoy 1: balita ko, type daw nun si Pipay. Nag-date daw sila kahapon.
Pinoy 2: Wow.
Pinoy 3: O di ba, greencard na yan si Pipay.
Americans 1 and 2 either stare at the floor, or glance at Pinays very discretely(or not), obviously not understanding a word of what they are saying.

Elevator Talk 2
Say we’re in the same elevator. 3 pinoys and 2 americans. And we want to talk about one of the 2 americans, who was cute.
American 1: Hey (to Pinoy1), how’s it going?
Pinoy 1: (smiles) good. And you?
American 1: Mondays are never good.
American 1 and Pinoy 1 chuckle. The 2 other pinoys smile.
Pinoy 2: Naks, Pinoy1, ang pogi ng fafa mo ah
Pinoy 3: Onga, pero may chika ako ah.
Pinoy 1: Ano?
Pinoy 3: Balita ko may nakakita daw sa inyo
Pinoy 1: Na?
Pinoy 3: Teka, iniisip ko yung tagalog word…
Pinoy 2: Ah…na nagtanghalian sila nung Biyernes?
Pinoy 3: Haha, oo yung nga, ang slow ko talaga sa tagalog, shyet
Pinoy 1: Nyeh. E dapat tatlo kami kaya lang umayaw yung isa naming kasama dapat
Pinoy 2: Uuuyyyyyy
Pinoy 3: Iba na yan. Mabili ka pala sa onak, hehehe
Americans 1 and 2 either stare at the floor or glance at Pinays very discretely (or not). If American 1 was sharp (or egotistic) , he might start to suspect from the Pinays’ tone of voice that they might be talking about him. Or not.

Mind, it’s not always gossip about who’s-dating-who. Sometimes, more often than I care to remember, it’s about work and which person did what stupid or CYA (cover-your-ass) thing to another. Or who’s blunder made which person do godforsaken hours for what.

And when this noise is too loud, I start thinking exercise.

Stairs.
Methinks that’s why architects put staircases in very tall buildings.

Ah, sweet solitude.