Jump

This just in from the resident friendster manghuhula for day's horoscope:
The Bottom Line
If you can be flexible right now, you will open your life up to more spontaneity.
In Detail
Sometimes, you just have to go on faith. You're at a crossroads right now -- and time is running out. You need to decide which way you're going soon, and you won't have the luxury of knowing all the information you want to know about your options. The good news is that you're in a very solid lucky phase, where your instincts can fill in the blanks and help you take a calculated risk. So even if you're not completely sure, go in the direction that just feels the most comfortable now.
---

as if on cue, dammit.

how do you jump when you're to scared to friggin' fall into a dark abyss? sure, there might be a 100-ft high cushion to catch your fall, but why risk it if your gut tells you NO.

i've done this before so I'm really at a loss to explain why not now, why not again.

maybe this time my gut is right. last time it was wrong. way off base. yeah, you could say i fell into the abyss, and the cushion wasn't quite 100-ft tall. it broke my fall, alright, but i think the aftershock was still pretty nasty.

dangit.

i've decided not to tell anyone. yet. i can imagine the horror of not jumping. but but i can also imagine the worse horror that awaits the bottom of that abyss.

maybe i just need to go home. maybe that's it. maybe i won't say 'sayang' to the opportunity. maybe it will all turn out for the best. maybe my instinct to run is right this time around.

this time around. sana.