Easy on Sunday Morning

At last, Blogger got some sense and put in the "Attach Picture" function (or whateva-the-hell-you-wanna-call-it thing) in their system. Haha. Perfect!

Took this pic in Costa Rica, on the Sunset Cruise (yes, I knew you were gonna ask about that).

Now, on to more unimpressive matters.

***

Some people talk too much. Some people talk too little. And it should matter, but it normally doesn't. You know why? Because no matter what one says, very few people listen.

***

Fine, fine. I may have been too quick to judge (I'm also very opinionated...but that's another matter altogether...ahem). Some people listen, though. Thus, a conversation, a meeting of two minds, ensues. Now, some meeting of minds are quintessential moments in self-actualization. They are remembered in tones and shades, not in visions. They represent a certain growth due to affirmations of being, an emancipation of sorts, if you will. These are conversation snippets that you will remember long after you've said your goodbye's. And you cherish them. And hear them again and again and again. Even after centuries of emotion have passed between you and the other person. Sometimes, you even forget the person, but the words are etched in your memory like the lullaby your mother used to sing you to sleep.

***

"Maybe you're looking too hard. And'yan lang sila. Sometimes, they're in the places where we least look for them. Pero marami yan. Try looking for the ones not right in front of you, but those in your peripheral view."

"Alam mo, sila, nagsesettle kasi hindi nila alam kung ano yung dapat o pwede pa nilang hanapin. Eh, ikaw, papayag ka ba naman mag-settle kung alam mo na kung ano talaga yung hinahanap mo?"

"Babalik din yan. They always do. 'Di mo ba napapansin?"

"I can't see my life without you in it."

"Kung kailangan mong pagdaanan yan, sige lang. Kaysa naman pag matanda ka na, tsaka mo pa mapag-iisipan yang mga 'what-if what if' thoughts na yan."

"Sobra akong comfortable with you. Sumama ka na. Hindi enjoy pag 'di ka sumama. 'Di na lang rin ako sasama."

"I wish there was another you. Maybe, then, pwede sya na lang yung maksama ko for the rest of my life."

"Ikaw lang talaga ang nakaintindi sa akin. Tandaan mo yan."

"I love her. But she knows I think you're my intellectual soulmate. It makes her jealous, but I'm just being truthful."

"Sabi ko, 'Alam mo ba kung sino'ng closest friend ko sa (company name) ? Si (zhinesade's name IRL) .' "

"Pag matatanda na tayo, 'wag na tayong sasayaw ng ganyan ha. Mag-mahjong na lang tayo."

"It's been four years, and I've kept all of the emails we've exchanged. And all of the pictures I have of you."

"I'm letting go. It's my decision."

***

Caramba! They sound so much cornier written down. But, what the heck. They're out of context here. They're much more meaningful (and much mushier) if I tell the whole story. Come to think of it, though, these words were the conversational focal points remembered because they evoked so much honesty and emotion from the person. It shows a lot about their character and about the relationship.

***

Sometimes, it bothers me how memories seem to come and go. Today, I remembered someone as the bravest guy who wanted to get to know me. He braved 42 Filipinos, his Danish buddies' hushed tones, and my then-overly-conservative view. And I miss exchanging emails with him. Yesterday, I remembered another someone who used to be a good running partner back in high school. She was one of the first forward-thinkers and open-minded people I came across in my life. Tomorrow, who will it be? Will it be you? Or will it be some random guy I met last week? Or the barista who already knows my name at Starbucks? Or the group I jammed with last April?

***

Life just holds so much promise. Even as experiences pile up and memories fade away, new ones are made. I wonder if my experiences come quicker than the reutilization of air by trees....Everything is just such a huge mystery, isn't it? It fills the air with excitement and an ungraspable ecstasy that is always within reach, but never completely in your hands because your palms are just too small. Maybe tomorrow, you say to yourself. Aah, the promise of a new day. I like that.

***

"The more you know, the more you know that you don't know." The mystery that holds us all together. Do we hold on to each other in fear of knowing? Or in fear of being known? Do we hang on for fear of the unknown we still aim to figure out? Or de we hold on to what we don't know in the hopes that we will someday know? "If today was your last day on Earth, would you be doing what you're doing now?" Would you go do the things you haven't yet done and let yourself experience what you will miss? Would you be depressed today for what will happen tomorrow? Or whill you continue to do what you are doing, knowing that what you know about the Earth's ending might be nothing compared to what you don't know about the Earth (and life) in the first place.

***

I'd drink coffee and sing. And maybe think about how life would've looked like, were it not for the end of the world. I'd probably go dancing, too. And maybe take photos of people reacting to the world-ending news. I definitely would skip work. And maybe I'd go hang out with my dad and sisters and laugh at the family antics.

***

Maybe. But it's not the end of the world tomorrow. Tomorrow, like today, is the first day of the rest of my life. I will wake up to freshness and crispness and light. Love and laughter will soon follow, I'm sure.

***

"All that matters in the world is right inside of you." So I'm not scared, really. Because whatever happens, I know I gave it a hundred percent. Every single time. Even when it hurt. Even when I thought I couldn't. Even when it was my last drop. I could be a jack-of-all-trades, but I traded in pretty well, don't you think? How about you? What's stopping you from jumping in and taking it for what it's worth?

***

That's why I'm easy.

Easy on Sunday morning.