loose the term usely

(warning: senseless post, but pretty picture in store for you...)

Yes, this was the way my mind worked this past month. Everything seems a blur, really. Sometimes, I’d have a heady moment of depression, and then at other times be giddy with excitement and happiness. Why? I don’t really know. Boredom? Inconsistency? Lack of sleep? Too much beer? Senselessness?

It’s hard to write about this intangible something that’s trying to eat me up alive. The more I try not to think about it, the more it consumes me. The more I try to grasp it fully, the more it escapes me, which leads me to not be able to handle or solve it. Or maybe this is just me being too controlling.

Bah-humbug. Christmas is a-coming too. Double Bah-humbug. And another bah-humbug just for kicks.

An then a rare wonderfully dreamy event comes along that begs the question “Does it really matter?”. It begs it so much so that I am left wondering like that naked ghastly 3-year old kid with eyes like bombs tapping on the window of cars along Shaw Blvd.

Maybe she and I are the same. We wander around, searching for that penny that’ll turn us into gold, not knowing we are who we are, and nothing in this world, not even the brightest lights, or the happiest laughs, will make any difference.

Use the term loosely, he says. He’s married for gosh sakes. Use the term loosely, she said. But he’s gay. How much more loose can a term be? I say, loose the term usely. Or just lose it. Or lose him. Haha.

I’m weird I know. Sorry, can’t help it. Too little sleep, too much beer, and not too much living will do that to ya.

PS. Tisa is the model-like woman. I love the picture. She posed, I shot, and viola! She didn't even have to try to look beautiful. Naks, Tisa! Sa uulitin, smile ka na :P