looking over my shoulder, and closing my eyes...

I can almost touch the year 2005 that was. It was an amazing year, let me tell you that.

1. There was friendship.
Friends old and new were found, lost, rekindled. It's cliche, I know, but 2005 was the year that marked my deeper understanding of the people that we encounter in our lives "for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime". It has been a gift and a pleasure learning about myself through the people around me, and being able to share in their lives, and touch them more profoundly than I thought I could. Co-bloggers in blogdom (Lara, Jing, Anna, Charsa, Jake, Mahal, Negu), friends/cig buddies I made and kept in the US (Don, Amilcar, Steve), friends
I had kept and grown with since five to fifteen years ago (Joyce, Cha, Carmen, Jappy, Kat, Jet, Tinto), and new friends I gained in the last five years from work etc. (H.O.P., Tintin, Negu, Xian, Ivette).

2. There was death.
Death came and took one of earth's angels into it's arms and gently led her to heaven's door. Che's passing made me realize how fleeting life is, and how much difference a person can make in a lifetime, no matter the amount of time they stay here. The days don't really count for much in and of themselves. Time is only an element that aids in the development of the soul and the mind.
Death also reared its head in the form of a love lost. The struggle was difficult in the end, just because eyes were shut tight by a patch called love. The love didn't die, but a possible 'happily ever after' did. The difference this time, though, was that Acceptance held my hand as it did his. The dream was over, but it didn't mean we were out of each other's lives forever. I didn't know it 'til this year, but friendship with ex-lovers can be a reality.

3. There was new beginning.
The complexities of a child's birth were upon me this year. it was not my child, but a baby sister's. The whole schema was overly complicated, and very few people really knew what went on behind the closed doors of my life. I had to let go, let live, and then, stand still, and be quiet as she grew up into a mother, and I grew into preparing to be an aunt. Mikhail was born on the 28th, and my sister is now a full-fledged mom. It's a new web of relationships that have started forming in the last few days.
The story I wanted to write was finally finished, and sent to a publisher. No word yet, but hopefully, 2006 will see it through.
The plans for singing also birthed into Mac Suicide. Again, 2006 will see if we have what it takes to blast off into the music atmosphere.
Plans to buy my own place have also been started. The down payment has been paid, and the mindset is to make it a home that I will learn to love, and a home that will help me learn and love.
Something else bloomed, this last month of December, something popularly contrary to my wishes. But I gave it some thought, and things will be as they should be without me controlling it. I will be sand and it will be the water that moves me in whichever direction it wishes. I will seek neither shore nore open sea. I just will be.

4. There was learning.
I started boxing -- a therapeutic, healthy alternative to trying to lose some excess weight and feeling good all-around. I have now almost mastered the speed ball and my jab-straight combo, I am told, is a lot strong for a small female such as myself.
I started getting into badminton. It's on the shelf for now, but I'm sure it'll be like riding a bicycle once i have time enough to play again.
I started taking photography more seriously, trying to learn more than just the basics of shooting and making pictures look good. I'm way behind, I know, but these things take time.

5. There was expanding horizons.
In photography.
In writing.
In singing.
In boxing.
On being a homeowner.
On being a leader and a team player.
On being a sister.
On being a pseudo-mother.
On being a friend.
On being me.

6. There was travel. Just being re-exposed to the beauty and multi-faceted culture of the Philippines was a huge deal for me. Plus, I was able to visit Costa Rica. That was fun, fun, fun.

7. There was me living my life and re-learning the definition of me.

2005 was colorful, alright. I don't know what 2006 will be like, but if it's in the cards to be similar to last year, I'm in for one helluva roller coaster ride.

This time, Im'a sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Hold on tight, everyone, I can feel the first loop-d-loop coming...