Doggone Wham-Bam

Note: Taken in Pagudpud,. I didn't bother with editing out the people. I think it looks more real this imperfect way.

I've read about it often enough in books. Doing the deed on the first date spells DISASTER with a capital DEE. As in "Don't" and "Dead" and "Over" (although that third one doesn't start with a D, haha). Anyway, I didn't really give this much thought until very recently, when something of the sort happened to someone I know. I was 'Dear Doctor Joe' of sorts and had to think about the whole thing for most of the weekend. Even Belle (de jour) agreed that sex on the first date was a no-no. Today, I think I quite agree with that thought. I would even go so far as to say holding hands on the first date is a bummer. It denies both of you the chance to slowly uncover the person inside the body of the Other. It's eating your favorite meal over and over again. You don't get to imagine, think about, and individualize each of the ingredients that make it your favorite. And if you do it too often too soon, it loses the 'favorite' factor, and you move on.

I know, I know. But what if the physical attraction is so strong it's tangible? And what if he's dressed like your prince charming and smells of your favorite man scent? And what if you both think, after five to eight hours of talking, that you have found your soulmate? What then, you ask. Aren't there exceptions?

Nope. No exceptions.

Lemme tell ya.

If the physical attraction is strong, it'll still be there five (even twenty) dates from now. And think what'll happen in the morning when you wake up and find out that you're not so attracted outside the bed. Na-uh.

If the look and the smell are perfect, think about this: Did he smell like this right after he soaked up the sun or got home after commuting? Did he look this perfect when he got out of bed? Would it kill ya if you thought about something deeper than the LOOK in his eyes? Or the flirtiness of his tone? (The answer is NO, darling) Listen to what he's saying and to what he's NOT saying, instead of just focusing on how extremely gorgeous he looks. He's not Apollo, and you are not Pamela Anderson.

If he's your soulmate, damn it, you have your whole lives (and the next one, too, or Nirvana, choose your pick) to experience being 'whole'. It doesn't need to start right now, tonight, even if your heart is screaming "GO". Sometimes, instinct is wrong, especially if it comes with the word 'soulmate' attached to it, within 24 hours of meeting someone. Believe me, lots of people have stumbled and fell flat because they thought a new acquaintance was 'the Soulmate' or 'the One'. Wait a week, or two, or maybe even three. Remember, your body won't die if it doesn't have immediate contact with your soulmate. It's your soulmate, for heaven's sake, not your BODYmate. Bodymate, well, that's a diff topic altogether, and will be saved for another time.

So remember, think past the bed. Always.

PS. Happy birthday Papskidoo, and B-B-Bunsoy :D