MY QUARTER-CENTURY LIFE

Most people have blogged about it. But this is my version. My thoughts. My drama on the matter.

Less than three months before I end the year-long celebration of my quarter century, and what do I have to show for it?

I have peace of mind, strength, determination, an acclimatized temperament, not to mention less baby fat, and more real fat.

But.

I digress.

I’m 25, and I’ve gone through a whole lot of things that most quarter-century old people go through. And then some. On second thought, make that ‘a lot more’. I’ve had dramatic fights with my mom, unbelievable openness with my dad, “mommy training” with my sisters, roller-coastering social life learning, and amazing “Young Love, Sweet Love”-cun-“Maalaala Mo Kaya” experiences with love.

And here, on this road today, I am ready. Ready to bid farewell to all the excess baggage brought on by the over-exuberance of youth. Ready to let go of all the misguided dreams brought on by commercialism and unadulterated media. Ready to let go of the burden and pressure that I’ve put on myself to make my life seem as normal as the norm.

Finding out that the norm is something that we all strive to be. That the norm is not as normal as it seems. And that the norm, in fact, changes (from year to year, or from day to day). Normal is not what I want to be, I have found out. I am bitchy, cute, funny, corny, baduy, independent, liberal, adventurous, moody, depressing, pessimistic, optimistic, altruistic, self-absorbed, passive-aggressive, feisty, articulate, curious, and observant, all at once or in differing degrees depending on where I am, who I’m with, and what I’m surrounded with. I am angel. I am devil. I am love, hate, sin, forgiveness, life, death, honesty, and lies all rolled into one.

‘Or so I thought’ is now something I find myself muttering under my breath, whenever I think things through. And ‘Damn all misconceptions and prejudices’ is my own personal version of the ‘Que Sera Sera’ attitude. I am less worried about what others will think of me and more worried about what any action will do for my own personal growth. In a way, it seems I’ve been more selfish. But, really, it means I'm being more at tune with who I am versus who people want me to be.

I have realized that while not everything I REALLY need to know I learned in kindergarten, most of it is easily available via internet. Haha.

Off to the second quarter, I'm more relaxed, and more at tune with what I can and cannot do. I stop doing things that are stupid mistakes, and I start capitalizing on my skills and assets. The first quarter (I'm paralleling to basketball here) is always a testing stage. Trying to gauge how best to attack the game. The opponent is just the obstacle, the basket shots being my goals. The opponents can try to let me foul up, but I can try harder and get away from them if I use good strategy. By the second quarter (of my life...stay with me now), I know what kinda works, and I know what doesn't. I know which opponents I should just stay away from at all costs, I know which teammates know and support my strategy the best, and I know which coaches to listen to. I am in the zone. I fight for the ball, run to my court, zigzag by the field-day defense, and score my goal. And when I am in the zone, believe you me, nothing and no one can stop me (in life that is, not in basketball....which I don't really know how to play hahaha).

So here I am, less than three months before leaving the year-long celebration, and I am pausing to recount.
The good days.
The bad days.
And the ME.

And on this poignant note, I would like to holler at all those people who think I am bad-things-that-cannot-be-named-here.

I probably am.

So live with it.