Stampede for Passion

Sept 10, aside from being a day before the Sept 11 US tragedy commemoration, and aside from being a piss-me-off Saturday because I had to cancel an ill-planned Baguio trip for work, was also the playdate for Red Horse Muziklaban, the event which will not soon vanish from memory.

The three of us got there at around 8:30, listening to the third band via 107.5, and getting all psyched up to see and listen to some bangin' rock. As our car approached Roces Ave from a side street, we didn't know exactly where the entrance to the place was. All we knew was we had to follow the light in the sky (ala-Batman signal) and follow the slowly thickening throng of kids in black walking along the road. I joked to my friend and said 'Potah, daming Punks Not Dead' and proceeded to ask her why their color was black and not some other color. She jokingly replied that it was so nobody'd notice if the clothes hadn't been laundered ever. Haha. Some other 'Pahnks Naht Dead' jokes were exchanged. I even quipped that if someone threw a bomb into the stadium, the Manila population problem would be able to breathe a sigh of relief. My friend replied 'e di di na yan Pahnks Naht Ded, kundi Punks Now Ded na'. I laughed. It was good quip, I thought at the time. After a while, we parked at a side street, made arrangements with the guard to look after the car, and proceeded to what looked like a big green gate that was...(stunned silence)...CLOSED.

We tried to get as close to the gate as possible, with me trying to hold my breath for as long a time as possible because we were literally surrounded by the throng of people in black, banging on the gate, cussing and/or muttering about them having bought tickets and all and not being able to get in. The thick odor of perspiration was almost unbearable. There were a few other people who looked as average as us (read: not wearing black, and not smelling too smelly) and my friend asked one of them why the gate was closed. We found out that they closed the gate because there were too many people inside, and the bouncers didn't want a riot breaking out with the thick crowd. A few times, the gate opened to elt in ambulances, but the people nearest the gate dared not pass thru, because on the other side waited bouncers with their 'dos por dos' ready to hit anyone who crossed the line, they themselves being affected by the heat of the night and the aggression of the crowd.

After around 15 mins of standing around, my friend asked if we just wanted to go somewhere else and drink. I said we should try to wait a few more minutes, and if they still didn't let us in, we could go get drinks in some other bar. We were in QC, weren't we?

Without warning, the gate suddenly opened. After a split-second astonished crowd hush, everyone started to literally run for the gate. I instinctively held my friend's hand right as I was swept off my feet by the suddenly thick crowd of people. I saw that I was nearing the gate, but I couldn't feel my feet. I also couldn't breathe, my breath being sucked out from me a moment earlier as the throng came together to form a bullet-like shape enough to penetrate the gate. I heard people scream as though from far away, but I could see that the people beside me were squished and shouting too. As soon as it began, though, the whole thing was over. We were on the other side of the gate, and I looked back to see my 2 companions right behind me. I also saw, in that brief instant, a bouncer beating back the rest of the crowd that was now just coming through the gate. I looked in front and saw bouncers trying frantically to to stop people from going any further. I took my friend's hand and pulled her to the side, saying 'Wag tayo d'yan sa gitna maglakad, para kunyari kanina pa tayo andito. baka sapakin tayo nyan' I took one last look back at the gate, and there were still people trying to get in as the bouncers were pushing the gate back into place.

Getting into the actual stadium was another matter altogether. I breathed in and thought 'there's no turning back now'. I went to the side of the thick crowd trying to get in, and was told by a bouncer that we needed to show them our tickets. We didn't have tickets yet, though. And the ticket booths were overturned and empty (I'm guessing this was a result of an earlier stampede for tickets). We walked up the steps and were pushed forward into the waiting sticks held up by the bouncers trying to push people back. I guess my face showed both worry and panic, so the bouncer let his stick down a few inches (and thank god, because the stick was up to my chest, I couldn't breathe with the people behind me pushing me forward) and in my calmest voice, i told him we needed 3 tickets. Some guy from behind him shouted 'eto, tatlo,' and shoved 3 paper tickets into our hands. The bouncer, though, suddenly shouted 'sandali, bayad nyo', so we had to rummage for our money in our bags, while the crowd was pushing me forward, straight towards the bouncer's face. 10 seconds later, we had paid and gotten through.

As we climbed the stairs that led to the bleachers, I could feel cold sweat on my neck. This was going to be a long night. I wished for the performances to be worth this EDSA-DOS-like stampede.

While in our seats, people kept passing by to get to the other section, and the crowd seemed to thicken and thin out, depending on who was performing (when there were good performers, they crowded in our area, while with others, the crowd seemed to disappear into nowhere). Once, I heard some lady screaming from behind the bleachers. We couldn't see her, but I presumed, like us, she was now stressed out as she was being shoved around by people trying to get to the other side, or her view was being severely blocked by the other people.

My friend and I stuck it out in our part of the bleachers. We had an advantage as a bouncer was right in front of us and he warned people to not crowd in front of us as they might fall of the railing. Thanks, Manong Bouncer, you don't know how much that helped.

Only on Monday did we realize that some people died in that stampede. I was shocked, but I couldn't imagine how that happened. And then, I remembered.

I couldn't feel my feet.

Was that me? Did I kill someone? I don't think so. My conscience is clean, as far as stumbling over other people goes. I was literally dragged into the gate, and I'm sure they were too.

There's really nothing to say about the whole stampede thing, except to not be in that position the next time around.

For sure, I'm one of the few people who are willing to try anything once, but that once, I think, was enough for a lifetime of Muziklabans for me. Next time, if the gate's closed, I'll listen to that sign and move on to the next bar that's not so crowded and threatening.

Oh, the folly of youth.
PS. Rest in Peace to those poor boys. Don't worry, I'm sure heaven has no lines and the gates are always open.

***

From Wonder Falls:
"Meaninglessness is acceptable in a meaningless world, but meaninglessness in a meaningful world is just depressing" (not verbatim).
Well, I'm not depressed, but the thought IS a bit disturbing.

On a more personal note, I wish I was more insenisitive these days. I know I shouldn't care, but some things affect me more than I wish they did. Maybe a little more insensitivity and I'll start not to care if people keep expecting me to suddenly appear at a function with my Prince Charming in tow. I'm single and I kinda like it that way. Get it?

I say 'There's no such thing as a Prince Charming for me these days'. there is, however, 'Mr. Not Right' and he is already, most definitely, on my radar. ;D