Best Place Ever

Did I mention me and 10 other awesome people went to New Orleans on Mar 20-21?

Bwahahahahaha.

It was soooo much fun.

We had lunch at Antoine's, where (according to Che's rumor) you couldn't laugh out loud. The mood at the place was just too stiff. Granted, the food was fantastic. But the place was just a big mood-killer. hahaha. So we had lunch and immediately stepped out and bled onto Bourbon Street. And drank. And walked. And looked. And took pictures. And wandered. And laughed. The street reminded me of Eastwood streets (if Madonna had a concert there). The streets and stores were wild. Time passed by quickly....too quickly.

Two important things to note on the first day, though.
1) We went into this place called LOVE ACTS REVEALED or something. We stayed at the back, because some friends were ont he conservative side, and we didn't want their innocence to be totally shattered. WRONG MOVE!!!!! Private lap dances were held at the back (3 of which happened not 3 feet away from yours truly mwahahahaha).
2) On the way back to Bourbon street (for dinner) from the hotel, we passed the casino. Since it was my first time to enter a casino (yeah, yeah, shut it!), Miggy gave me a quarter to play at one of the slot machines. AND I WON!!!!! Won me six dollars in quarters. Gave Miggy half of it because it was his coin that made the win :D

Second day was memorable for two 'events' too:
1> Cafe du Monde and Landry's --- doughnuts for them at the former. At the latter, I ate my face off hahaha.
2> Buggy ride, and the Aquarium -- cultural, historical, natural. I was struck with awe.

So far, this has been my best travelling experience in the U.S. to date. And it wasn't even Mardi Gras when we went! Ha!

Power and Position

You remember how, sometimes, you think someone's 'astig' because his family has connections that make life easier for you? For example, a college friend you're carpooling with happens to have a first-degree uncle who has a high position in the police force or military. You get caught by the cops for speeding a red light, and your friend just shows him his uncle's calling card, and you're off the hook.

On the other hand, remember when you read in the newspaper about this politician who got away with not paying taxes because he had connections...while you slave away at your desk and work hard to earn your keep, and pay your taxes, and live hand-to-mouth to save?

Well, the same abuse of power and position happens in the workplace. All the time. And some times are more bearable than others.

Example 1: You work as a day-shift nurse in a public hospital and have a friend who happens to be the night-shift manager. One day, he requests you to do overtime because one of his nurses called in sick. You say yes because:
1> he's your friend
2> he's a night-shift manager
IN THIS ORDER. You don't do it primarily because you fear he's gonna rat you out as being unhelpful. You say yes because you know what this means to him and his workload. And the nice buddy that you are, you help him out.

Example 2: You work in the quality control arm of Product A of a commercial food company. However, you used to work as an assistant marketing person for the same Product A of the same commerical food company. You inspect the work practices quarterly and make your report. Based on this, people will be reprimanded/fired/promoted. This quarter, you see that work practices for the Marketing arm of Product A are below standards. You let the manager of that arm know the results (as is protocol....your former manager when you were still at this arm), and he gives you a stern look and tells you exactly what he thinks you should do out of 'PAKIKISAMA'. Do you report what you find and be ethical? Or do you let your former manager lord his pwoer over you?

I say, let him lick his own ***!

You do what you have to do because it is your job. He cannot presume that just because he used to be at a higher position than you are means that he can still COMMAND you to do stuff for him. For all he knows, he was the reason you wanted to be transferred from that department. Because he was never an effective boss.

And these are the times you hate people who have position and power over you...

But, then again, they will only have power if you let them. If you act all courteous or fall for his 'PAKIKISAMA' routine, then you would have let yourself down and NOT felt good about yourself..nor of him. And you would have given him the power of walking all over you using his position.

My twenty-five cents' worth:
1> Say no
2> Tell him details of where he failed and let him know that you will do your best to try to get Upper Management to listen to his side
3> (if you've got the guts) Tell him "'Pakikisama'? Alam ko yan. Ka-level ata nyan yung 'Trabaho Lang', 'di ba?"
4> Let him know that he can't change the situation now, but he can prevent it from happening again in the future.

I know it's hard being Pinoy most times. But communication is often the key. OPEN communication. Two-sided communication.

Remembering that honesty and integrity will (and should) always win over 'pakikisama' or any other cultural norm. And that power is just a state of mind.

Besides, like the anonymous non-person said 'F*** da norm'! (Feet daw ba?...yech...I HATE FEET!!!!!!!!!!!)

Plausible Deniability

Ever wondered why your boyfriend seems soooooooo dense, you just want to grab him by the hair (if he happens to have any on his head), and jam his head in between your door and wall until he realizes what your ahem-ahem words are about?

And, why, when you talk to all your other guy friends, they seem to always say 'Yes, that's what I thought you meant', and they're always right. How come they get it and he doesn't?

'You look great tonight,' he says.
'Thanks. I had a hard time finding something to wear. All I have is old stuff. I need to go shopping,' you reply in your sweetest voice.
Boyfriend mumbles 'Mm-hmm' as he kisses you full on the lips. And you think you're in agreement.
Two weeks later, you're still waiting for that hint from him that he remembers you saying you wanted to go shopping with him. He doesn't say a word. But he does wanna hang out tonight at your place. And so you say,' How about you come shopping with me?', with your cutest smile on. And then his face goes totally blank, as if you just said aliens were in town, and then he goes 'Shopping? But you don't NEED any new clothes...' 'But you said we could go,' you reply, slowly feeling really let down now. 'I did? We never discussed this before,' he innocently replies. You remind him of two weeks before and he says he does not remember you ever asking him to go shopping with you. And your face gets the beginnings of a full-on pout. But you drop the subject for now to avoid confrontation. A couple more days later, with no mention of it, you start the underhanded arguments, and then, finally, a full-on battle on why he should or should not accompany you in your shopping.

But he already said yes...you think to yourself, wallowing in self-pity and anger building inside you.

Plausible deniability, baby. Times like these, men just tune out or pretend to tune out or throw out some noncommitant reply just to get their women to stop yapping. And most women fall for it.

Stop falling for it.

If you want something, tell him directly. It's not that men are dense. It's not that women speak like aliens when they have requests. It's mostly because men can get away with it.

Hmmm. Okay, okay, women sometimes can too.

But, THE POINT IS, if you can't take shit, don't give shit. Remember that. Your relationship is only as good as your word to each other. If you can't talk with your partner about things you need, want, like, dislike, hate without getting a straight answer for him (and vice versa), then maybe you have to go bark up another tree. Coz this guy ain't biting on what you've got to say, babe. And being treated like a bimbo (no matter how smart or popular or rich or cool or handsome your boyfriend is) is no way of earning your respect, or your love for that matter.

Shove it!

My Take on 'The Passion of The Christ'

WARNING: A little mushy (okay, a lot more mushy) than what you guys are used to, but it's my faith we're talking about here. So sit down, shut up, and read.

I watched it last night. 'The Passion of The Christ', I mean.

There was no build-up like 'Jesus Christ, Superstar' and no insane mind-boggling finale like 'The Last Temptation'. It went straight into the praying at the Garden of gesthemani and continued all the way til Jesus' final breath. No details spared.

And I can't explain it, but somehow, it was like doing the stations of the cross, only instead of words in your mind to console Jesus and tell God how you want to be so much like the Son of Man, these are pictures. That didn't stop. They just went on and on and on. And sometimes, you just could not help but turn away from the horror of it all. Oh God, more horrific than I ever imagined. And it became a bit more horrible because I knew what was going to happen next. When he fell the first time, I knew he would fall two more times. When he was scourged at the pillar, I knew that he would not die, because he was still going to be crowned with thorns, and then crucified. When he said 'Father, forgive them, they know not what they do', you remembered that when he died, his side would be pierced, just so they were sure he was dead. And you knew this all had to happen. And you knew it like it was your own flesh and blood. Your own body. Your own life. Because, in a sense, it was.

It was my life. The life that any Catholic aimed for. To live life for others, carry his own cross and never fear death for beyond it was Eternal Life. Things that I have known since I was 8. Things engraved in my mind by education, strengthened by religion, lived by conviction. Values and spirituality that all had its roots from His life, His teachings, His love. Things I felt proud of. Things I'd get into arguments for. Things I was sure I was ready to die for. And then I doubted. Like Thomas, I doubted. Did I believe because I needed to believe in something? Did I pray because I needed to hear myself believe that someone could and would help me? And then I jumped. And oh boy, was it a freefall, sky-high, adrenaline-pumping, screaming amazing jump. Because I believed. I suddenly let go and just believed. And did not care. And just told myself 'Live your life the way you know He would want you to live it.'

Then human nature took over. Dead brain cells. Appeals for appreciation. Desperate attempts at feeling loved and desperate attempts to cover up rejection. Time passed and I became lax in my faith. And then this film. Like cold water after agonizing seconds of writhing on the hot desert sand with thirst. Only much more bearable and less painful. But brought me to tears when I watched it. Covered my ears. Shut my eyes. Bit my lip so I wouldn't scream in pain. It was too much. So much more than any man could bear. Alone. But then again, He was never alone.

Now, I'm thinking, if he could go through all that, why can't I give up smoking just for these 40 days (cut me some slack here, 'Hello my name is Sade, and I am a Nicotine Addict'...Happy?). It won't hurt as much...In fact, it won't even reach a tenth of the pain he went through. And He would be with me. Plus, this was for my own good. To stop my addiction with nicotine. My self-abuse. My self non-love.

So it was a brutally refreshing much-needed reminder-slash-wake-up-call for me. And it was a good movie as far as my non-Catholic boyfriend knew. Good enough for his non-roots. God enough for all of mine.

Hopefully, this renewed pump will last me until the next good sensible Catholic movie.

Poch's Quotable

I'm sure someone else said this, but Poch emailed it to me and it was very good insight....

"this is the way it goes... sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust; and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down you think you're never going to be up again. but life goes on, remember that."

For more of Poch and her wit/thoughts/angst/etc., well....she has to be your friend too!

Lucky me! Wooooohooooweeeeeeeee!

Road trip to Mt. Poconos for some snow fun Day 2

So people wake up one at a time. I wake up and Babygurl is up, and then Jaz wakes up, and then Hensy opens his sleepy eyes, and then Xian stands up to get some food hehehe.
I get out my digicam and video the morning-after scene. And then Diane gets up and goes to take a shower as Jaz comes out all fresh, albeit having slept at 430 am. And the time is just 8 am, or probably a few minutes earlier. Hehehe.
So people get up, and start having breakfast (tira-tira from the night before). I take my shower, and when I come out, everyone's up. Sleep overtakes me and I lie down to nap for a while. I wake up and the house is abuzz. Everyone's ready to go and Hensy goes 'Allan, ligo ka na, 1030 na.' I sit up and say 'Ha? E naligo na ko, kanina pa no.' Hehehe. And then everyone helps clean up the mess we made and the mommies in the house (i.e. Diane, Barre, Denise, and me) make sure no things are left behind by people. And then we leave. Mammee Barre and Daddy-O Hensy decide that lunch will be at Barley's Creek (place suggested by snowboarding coach Dave the night before).

But before we head on up there, we look for a place to do our snowtubing thing. We go to Alpine Ski blah-blah place. And we see that there is no snowtubing going on there. However, me and Babygurl find that kids (yes, kids --- ages 3-6, we're guessing) are snowboarding and skiing down the slopes and we say 'Kaya rin natin 'yan o' and started blaming the condition of the snow on our snowboarding slopes the day before. We are laughable heheh. But then we leave because every single person's body is aching fromt he day before. And then we head to barley Creek for lunch.

Sidebar: Everyone is hungry but no one gets food, all in anticipation of a sumptuous lunch. But Mammee could not wait, and finally overcome, had to take in something. So she went for some leftovers. And as she offered some to Daddy-O, we got to the place. Hahaha. Blame it on Mammee's low EQ, she said.

Lunch was very good (i say this in comparison to yesterday's lunch ha, which was blech cafeteria food). took a few pictures outside, and headed for the car. But no! Steven almost goes into another van, filled with Americans. He mistakes it for ours. Nyahahaha.

And then came the snowtubing place. We parked, passed by the tunnel (very, very cool, if I may say so) and we are transported to snow's version of Christmas. Hehehe. We sign the forms, pay our dues, and are divided into 3 groups. The other 2 groups try the family tubes first, btu my group (Daddy-O, Babygurl, Teban, and moi) go off into the single snowtubes. It was a blast!!!!! Ang saya-saya (clap-clap-clap, in the tradition of Mads). After 3 successful times (except for Babygurl who kept slowing down or stopping on her slope), we decide it's time for the family tubes. While at the line, we see the other folks single tubing, one by one, and we try to identify who's going down. And then, we see someone who (a-la slow motion on tv) t-u-m-b-l-e-s a-s h-e-r t-u-b-e c-o-m-e-s o-u-t f-r-o-m u-n-d-e-r h-e-r. Oh no, I was thinking it was Mads. And if my eyesight served me right, the person tumbled once in the air, and tumbled again on the ground before she caught ehrself. And then, she stood up, and went over to her naughty tube and walked down. As she stood up, all four of us said 'A, si Poch'. hehehe. It was awesome. Something to tell her kids one day, I bet.

And so we snowtubed once. And the exhiliration from the speed! OMG!!!!! Grabe, wala akong masabi.

And then we had an idea. Race!!!!!!!!!!!

We challenged the other group --Mads, Cha, Barre, and Poch. Game daw, game. Hehehe.

As we went up, my group was stategizing. And the other group was, well, having fun. And we had another brilliant idea! Video the slide! And so we did. We told the 'pushers' our plan, and they said 'okay'. One, Two, three, GO! All four of us faced the front of the snowtube, and when the tube went sideways, we all jumped to face the new front of the tube. It was soooo funny because we were so caught up in the moment. And we won, but we found out that Poch had made a scene while they were going down..... Cha, Mads, and Mammee Barre were all at the front of the tube to make it go faster, but Poch was at the back, clinging for dear life and screaming, 'Ayoko pa mamatay, tumalembang na ko kanina!!!! Ayoko na tumalembang'....... Hahahahaha. Everyone was laughing while Poch was on the verge of crying from her near-death experience. And so they switched Poch with Xian. And we still won!!!!!!!!!

The third time, we exchanged slopes, because they said our slope was steeper which resulted in us going faster. We begged to disagree. But the 'pusher' made a mistake and it was a false start, and so we didn't have much push so they won. Blagh! Two out of three still makes us a winner! Nyahahaha.

And then we were on our way home. Denise gives us the low-down of what she does and does not like in a man. And then some. Hehehe. Alternating between sleep and wakefulness, we got back to Arlington and said our goodbyes. All of our bodies aching like hell, but all of our memories intact.

Nice one!

...

Jaded. That's what I've been since last Friday.
Hopefully, it goes away sometime soon...

Road trip to Mt. Poconos for some snow fun

Characters (in order of van position, from front to back, left to right):
Hensy a.k.a Daddy-O, a.k.a. Birthday Boy, a.k.a Kabituka ng Highway (i.e. forever driver), a.k.a. 'Woozy lang ako' boy, a.k.a. Official Photographer #1
Barre a.k.a. Mameee, a.k.a. van DJ/Mixer, a.k.a. Official Guide, a.k.a. Phone Operator, Official Photographer #2
Guerlain a.k.a. BabyGurl, a.k.a. Suh-weet BabyGurl, a.k.a. SweetbabyGurlain, a.k.a. SBG-Lee, a.k.a. SnowTube stopper #1
Allan a.k.a. Cha's Mom, a.k.a. 'Nagiging Babae na', a.k.a. Pigtail-girl, a.k.a. Coffee addict #1, a.k.a. Stogey Addict(in denial) #1
Poch a.k.a. Official Photographer #3, a.k.a. Sex on the Brain, a.k.a. Don't touch my pager girl, a.k.a. newly thin, a.k.a. 'The Incident' girl, a.k.a. Stogey Addict #2
Diane a.k.a. Don't-show-me-desserts girl, a.k.a. Sleepy-stylish-girlie-girl
Jaz a.k.a. The woman who does not need sleep, a.k.a. the injured snowboarder
Denise a.k.a. Stogey Addict #3, a.k.a. i-can-hear-your-pagers-in-my-sleep new Media friend, a.k.a. Lamigin, a.k.a. Looking for Mr. Maginoo-Pero-Mejo-Bastos
Mads a.k.a. Dakilang RoadTrip sleeper, a.k.a. No-rice-for-me girl, a.k.a. official bartender, a.k.a. pinakagirl sa lahat
Cha a.k.a. Tomador ng Bayan, a.k.a. Coffee addict #2, a.k.a. Allan's anak, a.k.a. laptop-boombox-r&b girl, a.k.a. SnowTube stopper #2
Xian a.k.a. 'Ilong Pa Lang, pogi na' boy, a.k.a. Corny Roommate #1
Steven a.k.a. Corny Roommate #2, a.k.a. Coffee addict #3, a.k.a. Mr. Berde, a.k.a. Laging Business Class Boy

Okay, late dumating lahat. Late nagising lahat ng taga-Meridian (as usual hehehe). And after loading up the van and passing by rich friend BOFA, we were on our way.

Breakfast at some stopover place in Maryland. Event standing out --- Poch nagbreakfast magisa sa Bib Bob's because of her craving for bacon and eggs. Bathroom breaks and stogey breaks over 30 minutes later, we were on the go again.

Una, gising pa lahat sa van e. Kulitan, asaran, hiritan. And then, silence. Sleep except for Babygurl and Jaz, I assume.

We got to the place at like 130, gutomn a lahat, we checked out cabin #24, isa lang CR, pero walang lock. Arranged to change venue to #22. So change. Room assignments, pano? 3 rooms, 3 guys. Some crazy person suggested one guy per room....Hmm, pano na ako, thinks Allan? hahaha. I'm kidding, folks.

So, 6 girls in the 2-bed room 9oo. considered girl ako dito, teban :-P), jaz, barre, and diane in the 1-bed room, and the 3 guys in the other room. Of course no one believed na 3 talaga sila dun noh. Malamang merong matutulog sa sofa. So off we went to Camelback to get us some food and start our snow adventures.
2 words for lunch. Cafeteria blech. Kadiring food. Photo opp na lang. Chaka 80's songs. Pwede na yan. Memories of Sawatdee's winner budget food.
Then we go and buy whatever we need to buy in the shop, and then everyone gets tickets. unfortunately, Allan and Poch inevitably convince everyone na snowboarding is better. Bwahahaha. The plot thickens. Joke, joke, joke. Closed daw snowtubing for the day e, ano magagawa natin? Jaz, Diane, and Mads (the girls) say nood na lang sila. Jaz is injured --- the excuse. Nadaan din sa pilit. Bwahahaha. Woooooohooooooooo. So everyone's dressed and psyched.
And after a while, people start attempts at snowboarding (pero, it felt and looked more like 'sliding and dropping in the snow' nyahahaha). FYI that it is the 2nd time of Daddy-O, Lolo Teban, and my daughter Cha. Pero sige. Hensy is looking like a pro, next to all of us. Steven is catching up fast. Some folks venture over to the Level 2 slopes. You find out that the girls are girls by the shrieks and shouts 'AAAAAAAA' in different decibels and various pitches. Interspersed with 'Shiiiiiiit' and 'Shucks' and 'Awwwww (pinoy version of ouch)' and pained laughter. This goes on for around 2 to three hours. Painful, yes. And then.... the instructors come in.

And the real pain begins. They want us to skate up the hill. And glide without looking at the board, and look straight (even while the board is going sideways, which is not funny kasi di naman kami sanay maging banlag). And then there's mention of toe turns. And heel turns. And our minds are just going 'Kahit anong turn basta hindi na malalaglag' and 'the fence is getting closer, closer, closer.........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' .

And then 6 people -- Lolo Teban, Daddy-O, Anak, Babygurl, Xianers, and Mammee decide to try the beginner slopes. Me and Poch and Denise are just waaaaay too tired. And the girls are, well....they're girls. Pretty women need their rest, too, you know :P

And the folks take loooong. Very long. And they have the keys. And so we grovel while waiting. Our bodies feeling like lead 100 feet below the sea. Hard to move. Or laugh. Or think. We're hungry.

They finally arrive and everyone gets dressed and we go to find a restaurant. But all places are closed. So everyone is dropped off at home to get out of their wet, stinky clothes while Daddy-O, Babygurl, Mammee, and Anak buy food.

Me eats leftover pizza from Friday and the tuna lasagna. Sarap. Then me sleeps for a bit. Exhaustion overtakes and sleep is welcome. Food gets there. Things become hazy because I am awake and enjoying the food, but my mind wants to sleep. Babygurl, Jaz, and Daddy-O take a bath with colder-than-usual water kasi naubos na daw yung hot water. Someone amazingly whiffs out an ice cream cake for hensy and we sing haberdei to tz berdeiboi. Me waits a bit, and then take my bath. Buti na lang, by that time, may hot water na... Woooohooo. The gods are good to me tonight. Bartender Mads starts her sassy night, and people start drinking. My vision blurs from pure exhaustion and I go to bed. Naunahan naman ako ni Denis, FYI. Z girl who needs at least 8 hours of sleep, I am informed.

In the morning, I am told that Mammee, Anak, Jaz, and bday boy Daddy-O stayed up. Daddy-O got drunk, but does not admit it. They slept at around 4 am daw. O well.

Will try to tell you 'bout day 2 later. I have a meeting to attend. Day 1 was waaaaaaaaaay fun!

Bitin noh?!!! Hahahaha ;D

Backpocketing

Got this new term from a guy I had a conversation with yesterday. It turns out that there is another reason why men want to 'still be friends' even when you cross the friends only-hookup boundary. It's called backpocketing.

So, say you're in the M.U.-like stage with a guy. You know he likes you (i.e. you've kissed, or probably made out a couple of times), he knows you like him back, but you have not had the talk. And then, through the course of some days, you suddenly find that it has been very hard to connect to him (on whatever level).

And so you have a sort of 'talk'. And you throw the word 'friends' out there just so he won't think you're overly interested. and then, he hugs you, and throws it back at you. So you think:
a) he held me while he said that so that means he wants us to be more than that.
b) he held me while he said that so that means he respects my decision but he definitely wants to be more than that.
c) he held me while he said that to lessen the pain for the both of us, because this is what is best at this time.

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He said that because he wants you in his backpocket, i.e. he knows you like him back, but he does not like you back enough to continue down that road just yet. However, he wants to keep the line open so that when he does feel like he's 'ready' or he 'wants' you or he 'needs' you, there is still that possibility that you will still be open to him.
Get it? He wants you on a string labelled 'i'm not sure where we are, but we'll find out someday'.

And the typical idiotic cheesy girl that you are, you believe the best. You convince yourself that maybe you're not ready for a real relationship too. That this is the best choice. That he likes you deep down, but it is just not the right time now.

So you lose contact with this guy, just keeping minimum contact through 'how are you's' and forwarded emails. And then, one night, you go to a party, and he's there. And you meet him. And the two of you start talking, and it seems like this happened before. 'De ja vu', you think. Feels like heaven....Mmmm-hmmmm.... You start kissing and all that...

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have been backpocketted.

Wait a few days, and you'll see. Everything will go back to normal. Except that it's his normal. Not your normal. He'll slowly slip into oblivion again, and you'll be wracked with the same exact thoughts that you had the first time you made out with him. And maybe will go through another one of those conversations with him. Do me a favor and record it, will you? So that the next time this happens, you can just listen to the tape, instead of feeling really embarrassed to have asked him again and gotten the same old answer and feeling overly used.

Some girls should just grow up and smell those awful dried sampagitas.

Get my drift?