zhinesade's surreal world

everything about nothing

Monday, February 21, 2005

Back in the Saddle Again

For some reason, that song has been playing inmy head today. I don't really know what the title implies, but it's as good a title as any.

Anyway, I am back in Manila, this time for 7 months...at least. I miss the bf already, but I'm also excited about the prospect of fixing up (self-renovating wahaha) the basement of my dad's house and making it my home, complete with kitchen, living room, and bathroom renovation, interior design (including my fave part of buying furniture wahahaha). Also need to fix the home budget, get phone line, internet and cable set up, give old books to charity, powerwash front porch of the house, get the band audition over with, setup my sis' 3rd year tuition payment, fix dad's airconditioner, buy clothes' dryer, fix house helpers' schedules, and finalize manuscript with the 2nd publisher.

Whew. Mouthful, baby!

All this while trying to budget my own expenses, get back my social life, start going to the gym, fixing up my own room, and relearning some office skills I had forgotten in the one year I was not in Manila.

Hooooey.

By the way, I spent 2 nights in LA before going home, stayed at Santa Monica Blvd, did the Grand Tour, and was able to see the crashing waves of the Santa Monica Bay from the Pier. Golly. I think Feb is going to be one of my busier months.

Also, watch out for an article of mine in an online-magazine soon ;D

So, how are you?

Monday, February 14, 2005

You've got Musical Mail!

Okay, okay. I know it's Valentine's Day and all, but I couldn't resist being soooo off-topic, because the whole blogdom is probably reading about every blogger's version of a Valentine's post. I, instead, will gamely reply to beautiful Sveltey's "Musical Tag". Here goes, lechon manok!

Random 10:
-Paano (by Gary V. Such a great, heartfelt breakup song)
-Lupang Hinirang (wahahahaha....I know, I know. Repressed homesickness, maybe?)
-One more Addiction (it's one of Natalie Imbruglia's non-famous songs in the 'Left of the MIddle' CD. It's an awesome angsty song)
-In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning (by Carly Simon, part of the Sleepless in Seattle Soundtrack)
-The Rose (by Bette Midler)
-On The Same Ground (nakikisabay sa uso, with Kitchie Nadal! Hahaha, nahawa na ko kay cheperoo!)
-My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama (heavenly guitars by Joe Satriani/Eric Johnson/Steve Vai)
-Dear Jessie (by Madonna, Like a Prayer Album...If anyone has a copy of this, please, puhleeeeeeez email me...I will be indebted forever hahaha. It just reminds me of the younger days...)
-There's no Easy Way (James Ingram's rendition is a tight second to Gary V's heartbreaking song)
-Jealous (by Nina. Sorry, jologs na kung jologs, but I love Love LOVE her! Besides, I think she's not6 jologs :P)

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer? I've tried to use my personal laptop space only for my photos. My music is all in CD's, some bought, some burned by lovely friends like Cha, Hensy, and the bf.

2. The last CD you bought is: Best of Aretha Franklin, along with some other CD's at the CD warehouse, for only $6.50! Imagine that!

3. What is the last song you listened to before this message:
The soundtrack songs of You've Got Mail. That was the last program I watched on TV before going to bed last night. Mushy, no?

4. Write down five songs you listen to a lot or mean a lot to you:
-There's No Easy Way
-Wag na Wag Mong Sasabihin
-Dreaming of You
-Better Days
-Jealous

5. Who are you gonna pass this stick to? (3 persons and why)
- Carmencita, because I'm sure she'll want to answer this when she's at her office and bored, or surfing at their i-net store and bored.
- Capi. She might not have time now, but she loves music as much as I do, so she'll probably still answer it.
- A~Lotus - I think this'll make her relax a bit...a lil time away from her busy school sched ;D

Thanks Sveltey for this. It actually was very relaxinng for me too!

Friday, February 11, 2005

Time to Talk

The appropriateness of the title amazes me. This week has flown by like Quantum Leap, I tell ya. Maybe it's because of all the catching up I've had to do at work, transitioning my role to someone new, plus making sure I shipped all my boxes back to the Motherland.

Yep, I'm talking about going home. It's a bittersweet thing, so let me ramble about it a bit. The 'NOMAD' label has been stamped on yours truly for 3 years now. This Feb marks the 2nd month of the 4th year. Should I expect a hurrah? A token? A crowd boo? I dunno, really. I don't know how other people see me and react. But I know that I was grounded enough to be able to accept change for what it was. I complained, yes, but I acquiesced. Always. Now, I am again going back home, but this time is different. I will have at least 7 months of living in Manila, at home. And when I say home, I mean my dad's house (the house I grew up in). It's been a long while, but I'm sure I can make this work. It's going to be hard adjusting to life in a place where your decisions come second to someone else's. But I've got plans to help my dad with the upkeep, and there is no better role-modelling for my sisters (to follow suit, ahem) than by example. So, yes. The plans for a new digi-SLR are gone. The car, gone. The condo, gone. The money will be put where my mouth has always been (figuratively, of course). Some people who know me say this is a bad thing, bec. they don't agree that I should victimize myself with being the 'Mommy'. I say, blood is always thicker than money. In the end, if it makes me feel good about myself and my family and helps me sleep better at night (granted I don't drink too much coffee during the day), I will do it.

Now, onto time management --- which has come up as a big issue with the boyfriend and his work (A-ha! Did you think we were having problems? Shame on you. Hehehe). He talks about running around getting IT answers from the experts (imagine a chicken with its head cut off lol), who unfortunately, are running around after other experts themselves. It's an endless maze of IT experts bumping into each other. I said, 'you know what? It's all time management. If B(our manager) sees how much time and stress doing this gives you, I'm sure she'll be able to help in one way or another'. I give the bf graphs and sheets, to help him track down how he spends his time. He doesn't do anything with it. Five months later, and still the same problem. Of course, the problem is compounded by ditzy clients who don't know what they want, demanding clients who think IT infrastructure is a mold of clay and IT people are the gods of artists, unhelpful teammates, everyone being CYA ('cover your ass'), and one's gf leaving in a week's time.

It's very pitiful, I think to myself, as I take a much-needed coffee and cig break. Then, I see the bf in the cig area outside, yapping away with another office buddy like there was no tomorrow. What the ---!

Of course, I stay calm. This has happened a million gazillion times before and I am used to it by now. I just faced the fact that the bf is a yappy-face (I love him, God knows), and he just can't help but sneak in 2-7 minutes every hour or so to yap with a buddy or friend. That's who he is. And I love him even if he doesn't change. I think it's part of his upbringing and culture. He's definitely a Type-A personality. When I think about it, that's actually what made me talk to him that first time we had a team lunch. Mr. Yappy face was going on about his partying habits and his guy roommates, and it was very relaxing to see that not all IT people were nerds. That some of them, like me, had lives.

I laugh at it now, but we used to argue about work habits a lot. I guess that's what (almost) a year of dating does to a person. You just gain an understanding of differences in culture, upbringing, and personality. You just have to, or else nothing will work. Looking back, I'm really glad I took the subject 'Cross-Cultural Communication' in college. Maybe that was God's way of preparing me for my guy. Or maybe I'm just being hella sentimental.

Too much space taken up by this article, and too much time spent writing it. I better get back to my time-consuming day.

PS. Pre-Valentine party tonight. Woohooo. Advance greetings of love for Valentine's to all who choose to celebrate it! And remember, if you can't say no, there's always a 7-11 nearby ;D

Friday, February 04, 2005

Apparently, I HAVE a Soul

Very interesting, indeed. Good words always make anjoy Fridays a little better. Everyone should go try this blogthing out hahaha.


You Are a Visionary Soul





You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul


TGIF folks!

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Faith

I know, I know. Pretty mushy topic for such a jaded and funky person like me. But the thoughts just keep circling in my mind, and this is my release.

He was an aspiring all-natural body-builder. He wanted to get one step through the door of professional body-building when people pay him to go to the gym and stay healthy. He joined a contest and placed third. He also, however, tried out for a spot to be in an exercise video. He got the part.

She was an aspiring all-natural model. She wanted to get one step through the door of professional modelling and acting without going the shady route of p0rn or the plastics of cosmetic surgery. She joined a modelling contest and didn't even place in the top 10. A week later she moved to California to pursue her acting dreams.

These people, they don't wait for things to come to them. They work for it. And the really good thing is, they know what they want and they know exactly HOW they want to get there. Nothing is left up to chance. Everything is a choice. Their choice.

What's my point?

They have faith in themselves and their ability to reach their dreams. Does it matter if the guy dies the next day in a car accident? Does it mean his life was in vain because he didn't fulfill his dream? Hell, no! But it does matter if the girl, for example, turned her back on her decision and took the shady route to stardom once she got to Hollywood. Yes, it does. The end does not always justify the means. And this is where faith lies, I think.

It's not always the belief in THE GOD that controls everything and has our best interest at heart that defines FAITH. Faith, to me is a personal word. You have faith in yourself, because you are the epitome of all that can be. It doesn't matter where your interest lies as long as the intentions are good. You have faith in your sister being able to rise up from the ashes of her teen arsonies. And you make her feel loved and accepted despite her past, and you trust her to grow out of it. That's faith. You see a homeless guy come sit right next to you in the bus, and the first thing you think of is how much change you have that you can give him. That's faith. You see the waitress flirting with your boyfriend but you don't care because he's your man. That's faith. You've been trying to have kids for years and have failed numerous times but you still believe that having kids is your destiny. That's faith.

And the satisying thing about all this is when other parties are involved and you get the chance to prove that faith does wonders. It can help heal a broken spirit, or it can help encourage a wounded soul. Society and personal faith just makes you want to cry out Hallelujiah in the middle of a busy intersection once you observe it. Faith gives people understanding. Faith makes people hope. Faith enables people to love. Faith gives people faith.

And if you're someone who needs a little faith right now, hold my hand. I need a little too. But I know I'm surrounded by people who have faith in me, and it makes me not wanna go down without my bestest fight. It could just be my nature. It could just be yours. Or it could just be faith, guiding us to our final destination.