zhinesade's surreal world

everything about nothing

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

What have I been up to? Showbiz Lingo!

First off, I watched the VMA on Sunday night. Fabulous. Although there was definitely a lack of big stars...Where was Justin? Britney? Janet? Big(some people might think Britney is not big, fine haha) pop stars....? Add to that that there was not a single boy band in sight (well, except for now well-groomed Nick Lache with his very very very very very lovely wifey). And then it dawned on me. Maybe the rock of yesterday is the pop of today....hmm. Plus, Bruce Willis dancing to 'Lean Back'? The world seemed to turn upside down, man.

So based on the radio gossip I heard last week that Britney challenged her nutritionist to make her thin in time for the VMA or she wasn't going, and he was going to be fired, I think it's now safe to say that he was canned. 9,000 a week down the drain for him. She was nowhere in sight.

But Jessica simpson did very well. Which reminded me of Regine V. -- singing while sitting down. Very hard to do, believe you me. Haha.

Anywho, heard on the radio today that the 'cuddling club'(?) recently started a following in Arlington VA. For those not in the know(like I was 'til this morning haha), it's a club where people basically get to the meeting place (normally a hotel), change into their jammies(?) and start cuddling in different positions, including the spooning pose. It's based on the theory that people need a daily recommended allowance of touch. Na-uh. I don't think so.

Finished watching episodes 56-69 of Queer as folk. I didn't think it would be quite as addicting as it was. I sooooo want to watch it from season 1, but they only had 56-69 On Demand. But still, it held plenty of story to keep me busy for at least a weekend. Cool. I never thought men on men could be so sexy (oooohh...kinkeh!). And the advertising guy exudes the same confidence and air as Ashton. Nice. Yummy. Ahem.

Still no follow-up to The L Word. If anyone out there knows anything, let me know. I miss the damn show. They didn't have the season-ender episode on On Demand. Demmet, demmet demmet!

Amazing Race. I'm still tuning in to see whether they will indeed go to Manila. Oooh-y. Do they tape that? Anyone from Manila have any news on this? Puhleeeeeeeezzzzzzz......

CSI, new season starting on the 3rd of September. Woooohoooooooooo! Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait. Did I ever mention that I have a become a big CSI fanatic? Can you hear the sound?
"Whooooo are you...hoo-ooo-hoo-ooo......" Sing it with me.

The Philippines did not have a single medal in the Olympics. Very, very disappointing. I don't get it. Are Americans just really more disciplined than us? Don't we pride ourselves in being very dedicated hardworking people? Where is the humanity? Oh well. I guess I'll have to take it into my own hands, then. When I have a kid, I'll be sure to start her on gymnastics or swimming when she turns one. "No dinner unless you perfect you routine, honey." Mooohahaha.

Real World Philadelphia is coming very soon. 2 guys kissing, 2 girls kissing...L Word and Queer as Folk combined? I'm in! Naughty. Very naughty.

Republican National Convention in NY. Ho-hum. Good luck, Bush, from the bottom of my heart. God knows I don't like you. But I'm sure He has a very good reason for making you win. If you do. After all, I don't know everything.

So, until we meet again, this has been Sade, for my Showbiz Lingo update!

PS. Uwi na ang aking dear teammate na si Jas sa Pinas, so babayu Jas! *puh-lie-ying- kish* kitakits! Ikuha na lang kita ng tuyot na dahon to commemorate fall, nyahahaha :P

O sya, as one of my friends used to say "stop this foolishness" na.

Saranghamidapo (eye.... to eye....) hekhekhek. Bow.
(Pasensya na po sa kakulitan. I think I had too much sugar in my lunch..or sumthin.)

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Cooling Off (part 2)

Okay. I needed an erratum for Cooling Off, so here it is. I was actually involved in a cool-off. Around a year and a half ago. With a guy who is now an ex. The reason was because of another guy, but not in the way that you naughty, naughty minds might think. Hehehe.

It’s very old news. Which still makes me sick to my stomach (thinking about the other guy ha) now that I remember it. But it just had to be said. Fact was, my then-boyfriend needed time to think(or so he said), and I gave it to him.

But I still stick to my view. Taking a break sucks the flames out of your midnight campfire like good ol’ cold rain. If you rekindle it hard enough, and have extra wood, it’ll burn as brightly as before, albeit with extended effort from both parties. Or. If you don’t try as hard, it’ll just burn to embers.

Either way, for a moment there, you left it for dead.

And death penalty, by any religion, is never a good thing.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Cooling Off

Filipinos my age call it "cool off", as in "Nag-cool off kami".
Americans my age call it "a break", as in "We’re on a break".

There must be tons of stuff written about this. I dare not even google it. But I’m here to offer you my singkong-duling (naks, coining poch’s words…that is ‘my 2 cents’ worth’ for A~Lotus and other english-speaking readers’ benefit :P ) about it.

First up, NO, I have never asked for a cooling off period. How I did that with my Type A and volatile personality, I will never know. But I did it, or rather, I didn’t (at least, not that I can remember). NO cool-offs aka breaks (never mind whether or not that was a good idea hehe...that’s discussion for another time). I always said, either we fix this, or let’s just break up. There’s no point in letting go of the commitment for say two weeks, and then re-evaluating "US". I never did get the logic in that. Time to think about things, I understand (say "introspect" with me here). But a cool-off? Nah.

Love me or let me go. And vice versa.

But I digress.

So, because it seems like these months bring the "cool-off" season for friends and acquaintances alike, here I am, thinking about the WHY’s of it all. No holds barred. Especially since I am not involved, ergo, have nothing to hide, on the topic.

Say girl wants to take a break with boy and she let’s loose the dreaded CO (cool-off) remark. What are we to think? Given we don’t know anything, let’s try to ram straight into the juicy parts of girl’s head.
Basic reasons:
1. I’m bored with this guy.
2. There’s this other guy I like
3. There’s this other guy who’s told me he likes me
4. I need to test and see if he’s really not willing to let me go
5. I want to try going out with someone different
6. I can’t see my future with this guy
7. This guy seems to be taking me for granted
8. We have so many points of contention

But it’s not that easy. There could be a couple of simple variations:
Combine basic reasons 5 and 7
Combine basic reasons 2, 3, and 6
Combine any basic reason with the phrase ‘but I still love him’
Any other permutation of basic reasons

It could be made more complicated by specific reasons to stay. Stir with variations above for effective results:
1. We don’t go out as much as we used (or variations of this, i.e. he doesn’t text me the way he used to)
2. I might regret it in the end, because maybe, this is just a phase I need to go through
3. He cares for me like no other person does
4. He’s handsome/cute (and that scores points, no matter what they say)

Pepper with specific reasons to go:
1. We don’t go out as much as we used (or variations of this thought, like he doesn’t text me the way he used to)
2. I don’t want to be labeled a cheater
3. He’s not trying hard enough for our future (social, emotional, financial)

So they try to find something in between working it out and breaking it off.

Cooling off. Taking a break. A breather. Stopping in that marathon of love, and letting the future get away from you…for the present.
Any other reasons you can think of? Or objections? Let me know. We need to help those who were left during the cool-off.

This is for them.

A little tangible piece one can almost grasp, amidst the turmoil of being left alone.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Elevator Talk

The elevator scenario comes up at least once a day, when you get into the elevator with filipino coworkers and americans.

Elevator Talk 1
Say we’re in an elevator. 3 pinoys and 2 americans. And we want to talk about a coworker who was cute.
Pinoy 1: huy, kilala mo ba yung taga-5th floor na lalake na laging kasama ni Pipay(another filipina)
Pinoy 2: ah, yung nakita nating kasama nya maglunch kahapon sa caf?
Pinoy 3: oo, yung cute….baket? anong chika?
Pinoy 1: balita ko, type daw nun si Pipay. Nag-date daw sila kahapon.
Pinoy 2: Wow.
Pinoy 3: O di ba, greencard na yan si Pipay.
Americans 1 and 2 either stare at the floor, or glance at Pinays very discretely(or not), obviously not understanding a word of what they are saying.

Elevator Talk 2
Say we’re in the same elevator. 3 pinoys and 2 americans. And we want to talk about one of the 2 americans, who was cute.
American 1: Hey (to Pinoy1), how’s it going?
Pinoy 1: (smiles) good. And you?
American 1: Mondays are never good.
American 1 and Pinoy 1 chuckle. The 2 other pinoys smile.
Pinoy 2: Naks, Pinoy1, ang pogi ng fafa mo ah
Pinoy 3: Onga, pero may chika ako ah.
Pinoy 1: Ano?
Pinoy 3: Balita ko may nakakita daw sa inyo
Pinoy 1: Na?
Pinoy 3: Teka, iniisip ko yung tagalog word…
Pinoy 2: Ah…na nagtanghalian sila nung Biyernes?
Pinoy 3: Haha, oo yung nga, ang slow ko talaga sa tagalog, shyet
Pinoy 1: Nyeh. E dapat tatlo kami kaya lang umayaw yung isa naming kasama dapat
Pinoy 2: Uuuyyyyyy
Pinoy 3: Iba na yan. Mabili ka pala sa onak, hehehe
Americans 1 and 2 either stare at the floor or glance at Pinays very discretely (or not). If American 1 was sharp (or egotistic) , he might start to suspect from the Pinays’ tone of voice that they might be talking about him. Or not.

Mind, it’s not always gossip about who’s-dating-who. Sometimes, more often than I care to remember, it’s about work and which person did what stupid or CYA (cover-your-ass) thing to another. Or who’s blunder made which person do godforsaken hours for what.

And when this noise is too loud, I start thinking exercise.

Methinks that’s why architects put staircases in very tall buildings.

Ah, sweet solitude.

Monday, August 23, 2004


Hindi kahapon, hindi bukas, hindi kanina, hindi mamaya.

Nalaman ko.
At hindi galing sa kanya.
Sa iba.
Parang sampal. Mas nakita, kaysa naramdaman.
('di naman pala ganun kasakit, pero may gulat
na nagdudulot ng luha)

Sa utak ko, kahit matagal nang di nagkakausap
malapit pa ring magkaibigan,
kahit 'di na magkasintahan
(dahil hindi ba't ganun pag malalim ang pinagdaanan?)

Mali pala.
Ako lang pala.

'Sensya na.
Akala ko
ang nabuong kahapon,
("alam mo, may mga bagay na kailangan mong pagdaanan")
hindi agad mabubuwag ng isang munting ngayong hagkan.

Tama naman, 'di ba?

Pero natutuwa ako para sa kanya.
Sa kanila.
Kahit malamang 'di sya maniwala.

O s'ya,
itatago na lang sa bulsa.
At tatawa.

Hindi kahapon, hindi bukas, hindi kanina, hindi mamaya.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Lake of Bays

Okay, okay.

So I went to Canada for one long week. Actually, I was only there 7 days, because the 7th and 8th of August were spent camping (but that's a story for later, you lil grasshopper, you).

To sum everything up in 1 word, the place was uneventful. But in a good way, mind. As I said in temporary-ciao-to-blogerati post, no tv's, no radio, no i-net connection. But there were lots of relaxing things to do.

Not relaxing as in summer beach kind, (get wax, check. hurry to beach, check. flaunt body, check. strain eyes to lookf or cutesies, check). Nope, not that kind. Relaxing in the live-in-the-moment-no-lists-no-tasks-no-time kind. It was me, me, and me.

I mean, boyfriend was there, of course. It was, after all, his family's cottage. Aside: It could not even be called a home away from home, because it looked and felt like home (it's injustice to the phrase, oh well). And boyfriend's family was wonderful. Mom, dad, bro, aunt, neighbors, all were very amusing. In the way that people-watching is amusing. Made me mutter "in-tuh-rres-teeng" more 'n once. Anywho, so stuff I did can be summarized in the following:

Reading -- Read Vince Flynn's book entitled "Memorial Day". Highly recommended. Esp. for Republicans. But even for ones not, it's still quite entertaining. Or maybe I thought it was because most of the stuff was staged in DC, a stone's throw away from tillneehoo-doo-me.

Star-gazing -- did this for 2 nights. The first time, there was supposed to be a meteor shower. And so we watched. I saw 7. Me thinks we might have just caught the end-tail of the bath because we waited a long time, but no shower. The night sky was the clearest I've ever seen it in my entire life, though. One for the books, might say. Date was 12th then. Second time, skies were not as clear as before, but very interesting, as we discovered a book in the house -- Astronomy for Dummies -- whatahoot. hahaha. Tried it in the dark balcony, looking up, with a flashlight and binoculars (very little help this did ho-hum). Cool, though. Reclinable porch chairs. Gotta love 'em.

Gin -- not the drink, silly, the card game. Yours truly actually accomplished something here. Got the boyfriend to learn gin. Fun, fun, fun.

Sorry -- game, not the act of saying. Got called the Evil Empress by boyfriend and borther (and mom and aunt later on in the week) in the midst of playing. I think I might've been too good. Haha. Oh well, can't help it if I'm good at sending people back home cryin' :P (ooh, touchy, touchy).

Big Breakfast -- always had bacon and eggs, and was introduced to malt toast with butter (pronounce buhh-tuhhhh). Spectacular. On my last day, I was treated to french toast and crumpets. Very filling.

Lunch and dinner -- always felt like it came straight from a magazine.

Yahtzee -- Learned it. Played it. Won it. Slamdunk!

Playing with dogs -- boyfriend's family's dogs (there's 2 of them) were so cute. they absolutely loved going to swim in the lake. They would dive in after the tennis balls in the lake, swim back with the balls in-mouth, and give em right back to you. That was fun.

Lakestuff -- okay, so boyfriend tricked me into getting in lake water. Said it was clean (mind, looked clean), and warm. It was freezing! And bottom was covered in what I wish was mildew and not dead skin cells (refer to previous post on 'dead skin cells'). We also used kayaks and went to end of their side of the lake which was quite a ways, actually. Picture-taking, of course. Will try to update portfolio links with those.

Biking to beachfront, driving to town, seeing boyfriend's childhood secret fort (yep, it was still alive), running after chipmunk (another first), and

Shuffleboard and billiards -- in the game room. Won some, lost some. But the playing was fun. "Full-contact sport," joked boyfriend's uncle.

All in all, lots of fun, but as I said, uneventful, EVENT meaning something big or planned or anticipated fun.

Oh, and I also got to go to the top (well, sky pod, not "top" top) of the CN tower, supposedly one of the 10 tallest buildings int he world. But I guess that's a diff story.


Back to regular programming.

Dante's Inferno

Let's talk about my evilness.

Dante's inferno shows that I have average, if not lower-than-average, evil in me.

Objection, your honor.

And I'm sure a lot of people will agree --- that I am evil. Moohahahaha.

No. Seriously. I am. I just can't tell you how evil I am. I choose to plead the fifth. But I swear I am.

As a mild example, I've seriously wished harm on others (i.e. "'Tanginamoshitka,sanamamataykana,malaglagsanakayosahagdanan, magsulpukanangulonyo,magsubsubanangngipinnyotutalmahiligkayo
masakitfor10days, nauntiuntingnagdudugoangkalamnan,
lechekasikayo."), but only when they did harm to me.

O di ba? But Dante's test didn't really ask me about anything close to that.

I therefore conclude that the quiz is bogus. Because it didn't ask me the right questions...

But I also therefore conclude that I am a fool, for even thinking about this whole thing.

It's a quiz, for ged's sake. And you also took me seriously?

Moohahahahaha. Mwuhahahahahaha.


'La lang.

Monday, August 16, 2004


just checkin' in...

have tons of emails to check (2000+ and counting, according to Lotus Notes). Oh well, it was a lot of fun while it lasted. Will fill y'all in on the details after I settle in.


Friday, August 06, 2004

Up, up, and Away

Friends and family (naks),

I will be gone for nine days. Not my fault, really. Meeting up with the boyfriend's family in Canada, and staying at their cottage for a week (more or less). Now I say cottage not to sound too English (moohaha), but to explain that since they say it is very relaxing there, the family has carried the tradition of 'no tv, no radio, and of course, no internet connection of any sort' for many, many years now, and woe-is-me-yours-truly cannot break said tradition.

So me's say farewell for the moment. Rest assured that me will be back with mutterings, grumblings, bitchiness, ranting, ravings, and horror stories for all.

PS. For the addicted bloghoppers, I posted a new link. Read wittandwisdom. His writings are very, very good. It almost reminds me of someone I used to know...but not really. Haha. He has writings for every kind of reader there is. Very addictive, I say.


Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Blind Date

Do you watch those late-night shows "Blind Date" and "Elimidate"? I normally don't, but there was nothing on last night as I was flipping channels, so I peeked at it. What I found was hilarious...It was almost like a filipino comedy series. Hahaha. Here are some snippets (of course, they're my mind's version...but I tried to stick as much as possible to the lines I remember her saying)...

Girl: so what do you do?
Guy: I actually own a small internet company
Girl: oh really. What is it?
Guy: I sell shoes for pets
Girl: (short pause…) hmm…so you went through college to sell shoes?
Me: Okay, maybe she has a point. In a philosophical kinda way….

Guy: So what do you do?
Girl: well, I have a lot of jobs…
Guy: Really? Like what?
Girl: well, I’m an administrative assistant and a receptionist
Me: Oh my, dami nga!

Girl: All I really do is work, shop, and drink.
Me: Hmmm. I am so impressed.

Guy: (sun is still up) Are you hungry?
Girl: No. I just want to drink.
Guy: Don’t you wanna eat first.
Girl: No. It’ll leave less space for the drinks. Not eating will make me drunk faster.
Me: Wow. Powm-chickey-powm-powm is in the air for this guy (wink wink)

Girl: Let’s drink up (holds up what looks like a pinkish iced margarita)
Guy: Uhh..okay..
Girl: I might get ice head. Or what do you call that…freeze brain…freeze…brain…freeze…oh, brain freeze…
Guy: I’m not sure it’ll hurt you.
Me is gagging from laughter…

Girl: I may be bubbly but I’m smart…
Me: Yes, darlin’. We believe you.

AND MY FAVORITE REPARTEE from this couple:
Girl: (talking about her hair getting darker as she got older) I’m actually starting to doubt my parents because of my hair color
Guy: (chuckles) oh...maybe the milkman was over huh…(chuckles...getting red in the face)
Girl: (5-second pause..) Are you making fun of my skin now…?
Guy: What? (confused look)
Girl: Yeah…milkman…milk…my milky skin….
Me: Huwaaaaaaaatttttttttt!!!!!!!! Mooohahahaha…

And that's all for tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
ba-dump-bump-tshh (lights out, curtains down).

Monday, August 02, 2004

AI Fantasy


There I was, hoping, nay, fantasizing about being able to audition for American Idol in DC before I had to go home to my beloved Pinas. I had actually already told 2 pinoy-coworkers and the bf.

But woe is me.

I went to the idolonfox site (sorry, no link here, am too disappointed tsk tsk) and read the FAQs etc. I thought my only prob was going to be that I was not a US resident. In my mind, they would not find out until I got the yellow paper, at which point I would have at least gotten the autograph of Paula (aw shucks) Abdul, Randy (whassup dawg) Jackson, and if I was lucky, Simon (bitchiness at its finest!) Cowell. But it was not to be.

My citizenship would be no problem, I saw --- they said you only had to have a valid legal working visa. Cool. But then there was the "pre-nup-like" agreement that you had to sign, saying in very many words, that they could sue you if they got you for a callback and you did not appear, among other possible scenarios. Darnit.

(Aside: I assume most of you guys know what callbacks are hehehe)

OKOK, so I may have gotten away with myself because, God forbid, I have a bit of talent with a mic (I know, the x would agree that I was dreaming. My voice, according to the x, was average). But still, in my overballooned head, I wouldn't want any part of court proceedings, which deterred me, finally. So, no, dear fans (or 1 fan and staunch supporter lang pala..si xian, hahaha), I will not be trying out for AI this year. Imagine all that airtime, though. Down the drain. Haha.

Yes, I am a dreamer, if you haven't yet figured out.

I long to sing in front of millions of adoring fans (which I guess most people dream too, lest I be too weird for social contact). I am no different from you. I sing in the shower, I hum at work, I sing while on my cig break, etc. But, crikey, I will be 5 minutes away from DC on August 18, and I will let that possibility slide. Oh well.

And I thought Zhinesade was going to be the next (and better, moohaha, I wish) Jasmin Trias.


Let my frustration end here. If this not the time, and this is not the plan, then I will head on, bravely, into the unknown night.

Chin up.