Coffeeless Sade

It's 12noon, I am coffeeless, cranky because I worked until 330am that morning, and had to wake up at 10am. My friend piocks me up form my house and we are on our way to attend a meeting. We pass by a Starbucks and I plead with her to stop so I can buy coffee to perk me up. She finally says yes. So she stays in the car, double-parked, and I run in to get coffee.
Becuase the high heavens want to laugh at me, the guy in line before me looks like a starbucks newbie, and is asking the barista about all the different frappucinos. Crap! I try to make eye contact with the other barista, working the bar, in hopes that he will get my order and start creating my lfiesaver. NO such luck. Finally it's m,y turn, and this particular barista assigned to the counter is uber-chatty. I try to be patient. Iced grande upside down caramel macchiato please, I say. He chats and punches in the order, and then repeats it to the toher barista. The other barista repeats it, blak blah blah. 3 minutes later, my macchiato is ready, but not upside-down. I say, nyeh, upside down dapat. He mutters something and asks me if I want it changd. I think to myself --- for another 3 coffeeless minutes, no way! So i say no thanks and leave. BY this time, my friend has circled twice because there is a hawkish guard keeping double-parked cars away. I get into the passenger seat, and she mentions another friend called to ask to order coffee as well. I say, please let me drink my coffee. And she understands. So I stay in the car, she runs in. But I stay in the passenger seat (smarterst thing I could've done!).
One minute later the guard is knocking at the driver's side. He sees no one is there, and moves over to my side of the car. The following conversation ensues.
Guard: Ma'am, asan na po driver
Me: TUmakbo sa starbucks bumili lang ng kape
Guard: Ma'am, kanina pa kayo andito e.
Me (rising voice): Kanina pa SYA nandito, ako kakagaling ko lang ng starbucks
Guard: Kanina pa umiikot yung kotse nyo e
Me (a little angrier): Kanina pa SYA umiikot, ako kakagaling ko lang starbucks o, eto resibo ko, tignan mo tong kape ko, puno pa o, malamaig pa.
Guard: Ma'am, di pwedeng ganyan kasi nakakaabala na kayo e
Me (indignant, coffeeless, and not in my right mind): Baket, kanina ba hindi kami nakakaabala?

The guard pauses, then says 'Ma'am, cge next time na lang po'.

I think he reclassified me as a kind of crazy weirdo. my last statement did not make sense or plead my case at all.

Mwahahahahaha. Bow.

Brazil, Baby

Okay, I haven't posted in a long time, but I'm back. Because I'm stuck at the hotel with nothing to do on a long weekend, and jetlag is a killer, and the interaction with Brazilians who speak very little english is so funny, it just needs to be shared. And I mean funny, in a frustrating, shrug-my-shoulders-and-walk-away way.

But before I get to that, let me posdt some funny stupid things I did before leaving Manila....

Stay tuned!