eleven-year love birds

my shoot with kitten and gel at batangas. priceless. that's how love should be.

Frustration

I'm not sure if it's the connection here, or if it's blogger, but I tried to re-upload khail's pics from Sariaya, and they still turned out negative...Argghhhh.

I'm sick too, and some weird vibe is coming from some weird person.

Double arghhh. Better just sleep. The meds are good for that, at least.

Ready

Shot this and some other pics at my friend Jazz's wedding. Only had enough spare time to doodle a bit, and came up with this 8x10 blah. I had no sleep. She was glowing. Her pictures were fabulopus. Go figure.

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I told a girl friend, "it's about that time."
But he, I think, was not ready.
He, she said she thought, was not worthy.
Oh well, it'll all be pretty clear and probably over soon.

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dante's inferno is such a weird place, you have power enough only to lay there and never return to the world above.

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Happy birthday m'cha!!!!

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dami pang sinasabi, beer na lang ;-D

Sariaya

below are pictures from the past weekend in Sariaya, Quezon, where my family headed so my dad and khail could breathe the sea air, and we could all relax. I took a total of 497 pictures. I counted once we got home, and around 450 of those have mikhail in it. he trumps my want for artistic shots. and i mean, he trumps it. i braved the beach, water til my waist, so i could take good shots of him. nothing i could do, he has me mesmerized, this kid.

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Minsan, pag nakikita kita
parang napakadaling magpakawala
sa kinalalagyan kong selda..

sana ganun nga kadali.

post-edit: obviously, i was not in my right mind when i wrote this post. i spelled waist as 'waste'. nyahar.

minsan, para ‘kong nakainom…

May mga araw, netong nakaraan, para bagang lasing akong naglalakad sa lupa. O baka ‘high’ ang mas matinong paglalarawan sa pakiramdam na yun (kahit hindi ko pa rin naman talaga alam ang pakiramdam ng ‘high’).
Yung tipong alam mo ang ginagawa mo, pero sa sandaling iyon, para ring wala kang hawak sa lahat ng nangyayari sa yo. Ganun ba? Alam mo yun. Na tipong paggising mo sa umaga, alam mo medyo nalugi ka kagabi, kasi yung ibang bagay, hindi na malinaw ang pagkakaalala mo. Yung iba naman, gusto mong idikdiksa pader ang ulo mo kasi feeling mo hindi mo dapat sinabi o ginawa.
Kaso. Eto e. ‘Di naman talaga ako lasing nun. ‘Di rin naman ako naka-drugs. Sobrang pagod lang talaga. Na tipong pagod na kung hahayaan ko lang ang sarili ko, pwede na kong lumagapak bigla na tulog sa kinauupuan ko. Kiber na sa kiber. Ika nga ‘Bloo-blah-bley’ na.

Pero eto naman kasing workaholic-slash-extrovert-slash-sosyalista girl inside me, ayaw magpatalo. Mukha tuloy akong may ‘split personality disorder’ kasi bigla na lang akong hihirit ng ‘Antok ko na, sobra’ o hihirit ng medyo malabo-labong-walang-konek-walang-sense hirit. Bloo-blah-bley nanaman. Hay. Tapos malalaman mo na lang na ang crush mo pala, na nakakausap mo lingo-linggo, na mukhang nagpapacute rin sayo, may asawa na pala. Powcha. Tapos maiisip mo, yung isa mo namang crush-crushan parang bading talaga, at yun din ang hinala ng kaibigan mong nagpakilala sa inyo (hindi ka naman sinet-up, nagkataon lang andun kayo pareho, kaya nagkakilanlan kayo). Gusto ko na ngang kumanta ng "You’ve got to laugh a little, cryyyyyyy a littlllllle, ‘til your pooooor hearttttt breaaaaks a littttuuuuhhhhlll…"

Hay. Antok lang ‘to. At pagod. At puyat. Leche, amin na nga yang Lipovitan. Tapos, beer na tayo.
P.S. The photo is what i've felt like the past couple o' weeks.

loose the term usely

(warning: senseless post, but pretty picture in store for you...)

Yes, this was the way my mind worked this past month. Everything seems a blur, really. Sometimes, I’d have a heady moment of depression, and then at other times be giddy with excitement and happiness. Why? I don’t really know. Boredom? Inconsistency? Lack of sleep? Too much beer? Senselessness?

It’s hard to write about this intangible something that’s trying to eat me up alive. The more I try not to think about it, the more it consumes me. The more I try to grasp it fully, the more it escapes me, which leads me to not be able to handle or solve it. Or maybe this is just me being too controlling.

Bah-humbug. Christmas is a-coming too. Double Bah-humbug. And another bah-humbug just for kicks.

An then a rare wonderfully dreamy event comes along that begs the question “Does it really matter?”. It begs it so much so that I am left wondering like that naked ghastly 3-year old kid with eyes like bombs tapping on the window of cars along Shaw Blvd.

Maybe she and I are the same. We wander around, searching for that penny that’ll turn us into gold, not knowing we are who we are, and nothing in this world, not even the brightest lights, or the happiest laughs, will make any difference.

Use the term loosely, he says. He’s married for gosh sakes. Use the term loosely, she said. But he’s gay. How much more loose can a term be? I say, loose the term usely. Or just lose it. Or lose him. Haha.

I’m weird I know. Sorry, can’t help it. Too little sleep, too much beer, and not too much living will do that to ya.

PS. Tisa is the model-like woman. I love the picture. She posed, I shot, and viola! She didn't even have to try to look beautiful. Naks, Tisa! Sa uulitin, smile ka na :P